Italia Awaits...New Chapter!

Hellos and goodbyes are quite a common everyday concept. As a remedy to tears and tantrums, my brothers technique with my nephew makes me giggle; we went to the park the other day and when it came to leaving, Paul insisted that Ethan was to say goodbye to the swings, goodbye to the slide, and goodbye to the park. Seems crazy, but it gives my nephew the concept of acceptance and allowance to let it go for the time being.

I’ve been back in England since the end of April, after a shock to the system leaving New Zealand, I didn’t welcome the opportunities in England with open arms. Looking back I think I subconsciously shut myself off. I was still wounded from leaving NZ and I was scared to open up again in fear of feeling exactly the same when the time came to leave for Italy. There are many things my mind has taken on board since being back, one thing in particular is that I could never move back to England. I have been spoilt by the beauty and laid back style of NZ for so long; I am not prepared to give it up!

In the past, I had found it easy to slot back into life when I came back to England. I met up with my old friends and everything clicked. This time, everything is different. The only thing that could have changed is…me? Since my last visit back, I started teaching and set up a life, gave it all up and journeyed across the world to follow a passion for Montessori. Ignited by friends, co-teachers and the children that I worked with, I realised that New Zealand and England are not the ‘be all and end all’. Italy is out of my comfort zone, but I think for the level adventure I want, it sounds ideal!

It’s so hard to say goodbye to things you are accustomed to, until your mind is diverted and lead by something more overruling. Our minds need diversion from certain situations, otherwise we get so engrossed in one concept without balancing it out and dealing with other things. I can’t remember the phrase exactly, but something like, ‘Sometimes we stare so long at the door that has just closed that we don’t see another one open’.

Last night I was dwelling on the goodbyes I had been saying within the last week, I was quite tearful and I couldn’t quite work out why! I’d said goodbye to all those people in the past and a few months or years later, greeted by a cheerful hello. That’s just how it goes! I think it was a mixture of things last night, I was looking at the closed door while standing in an empty corridor with only one other door to open. This morning, I opened that door! The next chapter has begun.

It begins with a night spent in a really…rough…hotel. It’s a little more like a hostel, but to be honest, I’m just thankful of having my own room with a bed and my independence back in full swing. So I sit here on my creaky single bed with well-worn bed sheets, the noise of my typing dulled out by the television in the next room (which coincidently is number 13), people walking passed my room allowing each door to slam behind them; this is the life. Back to the real deal, adventure!

There are many things I am fearful of, but mainly it’s just the unknown. The language, people, possibilities that may arise, anything could happen! I joked with my friend Hope (who is already au-pairing in Italy and shall meet in September to study together), that we’ll end up with 70 year old men who own vineyards and somehow become rich and drunk spinsters living it up in Italy! Funny what crosses your mind! Somehow, I don’t think that’ll be the case but it comforted us that that would be the worst case scenario!

I’ve said my goodbyes to England, I’m ready to say my hellos to Italy. And so, my Italian adventures begin…